This post can be profane, and highly disturbing.
Please do not view if you're below 18 years old..
I donno...
I've been putting my trust in you for the last decade since form 4...
But for the last few days things just seem to click in my head...
To be frank, I have never been highly religious, but I suppose that I have my own eccentricities..
But for some bloody f**king reason, everything seems to be like shit for the last 5 months...
Tell me why?
Did I not ask you to take care for me since I'm taking this leap of faith by going freelance?
Why should I go on believing in faithfulness?
Why should I go on believing in mercy in this dog eat dog world?
Mentang mentang it's PC Fair, my IT clients suddenly so senyap one? Why?
I'm willing to work. I'm willing to put in the effort. Yet the last few months you barely throw this dog a bone... You let all my friends gain an extra something, but not me... WTF?
The ones I finish, I cannot collect..
And my business tak jadi.. My dreams koyak...
And dah lah, some church-going hypocrits now saying I snake-oiling people when in fact, I never did in the first place...
Or am I another pawn in your gamble with darkness? Like Job?
You throw me problems after problems..
Issues after issues... Trials after trials...
It DOESN'T make me persevere.. It makes me pissed!! like now...
Damn it! I've even stumble across sites like this one in my search for answers...
And only after you sent this brother to talk sense to me that I thought to myself, I should be a 'good christian', give my tithes, and serve in an appropriate manner...
I've even thought of wiping the slate clean, starting over, getting a new job, finding purpose again.. And my private talk with you in the Gym today gave me hope... or so I thought..
But No.. dah lah, you throw me a saman last week, today you hantam me again with another saman - just 3 hours ago...
damn fun meh? That is like what? Negative cashflow?
What should I expect now?
Family members dying? like Job?
Or you gonna throw me a disease and let me mourn in sackcloth?
Or throw me in prison?
Damn fun right?
Why should I continue to believe?
Friday, August 1, 2008
Why Should I Continue To Believe?
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2 comments:
ahahahah u know wat.. i believe HE's talking to u dude... we should yum cha one day..
the satan comes to kill, steal and to destroy. At this point of your life, God is allowing all these to happen to test your faith in Him. God does not forsake us and He keeps all His promises. Don't keep blaming God for everthing that has happen but keep on trusting in Him. I know it is tough but don't give up. The devil is having a big celebration to see one of God's child losing His faith in Him. Why should you continue believing is because nobody is perfect. If everything in the world is free from problems, we tend to not need God anymore because everthing is so perfect ma..Jesus suffered on the cross for us all without complaining..because we are not perfect, thay's why we complain..at certain point of my life I do question God too. But why see the problems more than your blessings? The devil attacks not just one at a time, but sekali gus. And especially the time when you are having lotsa faith in your Abba Father. Just remember that Jesus loves you. That is all what it matters. God will bless you much in return. Be a warrior, not a loser.
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