I Dreamed A Dream

by Fantine, Les Miserables

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Praise God!

Bitterness To Sweetness

Yesterday when I was studying Exodus 15, God showed me a picture of Himself in the passage.

God's provision to His people with faith are joy (sweetness), healing and blessing.
Exodus 15:22-27
Looking at the passage, it was very meaningful to me.

You see, the Israelites just came out of Egypt and witnessed the 10 plagues, the Passover, and the elimination of the Egyptian army. In the beginning chapter of Exodus 15, they worshiped with Moses and Miriam's song.

And as they continued their journey for 3 days, they found no water. And when they did, they could not drink the bitter waters of Mara.
Sometimes, as a Christian, when we stop seeing God working in our lives, we would grumble. We ask why did God let 'this' to happen, why did God not intervene, why was there no answer to our prayers, etc. As a result, we become very bitter with God.
The Bible says that god is loving and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. However, experiential wise, we might not have walked with Him in that manner.
Sometimes, deep inside that bitterness is just collecting and growing.
For the last one year after a broken relationship, I can say I was bitter. And that bitterness led me to almost do stupid things in my life and turn permanently from Christ. Myself, I have experienced this empty way of rebellion and that bitterness was the cause of it.

How are you feeling bitter today? Or about the past? How have you grumbled?
As you read this things, what bitter roots come to mind?

When Moses cried out to the Lord and God showed moses the wood.
That wood is the shadow of Jesus Christ. Christ died on the cross, took our curses on the tree. God is merciful and gracious and will give us a way of escape. And from the old testament, God has always wanted to describe that picture of Christ to all of us.
Naomi, in the book of Ruth, in response to what happened changed her name to Mara.

How have you cried out to God today? When problems come your way, what is your No.1 response? Crying out to God or to rely on your own wisdom? How do you respond when things seems bitter?

Moses threw the wood into the water, and it became sweet.
When we cast Christ into the centre of our lives - into the midst of our trials, problems and bitterness, we find the result is sweet.
For God works for the good of those who love Him.
When we focus on Christ, all our bitterness turns into joy.
You see it is not the latter act of throwing the wood into the water that is significant, but it is the former act of putting faith in what God has to say that rewards you.

What or who are you focused on today? Your duties? Your position? Your belonging?
Is your ministry filled with bitter people and acts of throwing wood, or is your ministry filled with joy, sweetness and faith?

Then God made a decree and law to the people that if they LISTEN to the voice, THEN DO what is right, pay attention and keep His commands, God is faithful to not fall the disease of Egypt on them, but heal them.
Listening PRECEDES the doing. Paying attention PRECEDES the keeping.
For it is the hearing of the word that you have faith - Romans 10:17
Most of us today are so attuned to speed - fast cars, internet, sms, communication, etc.
We might read, but not see, hear, but not listen, do, but not think.
Doing does not come before listening. If you try to throw the wood, before crying out to the Lord, the water will not be sweet.
Then your service will seem to you nothing more than mere duties.
God promises the result of listening is healing - both from the judgment of diseases, as well as general healing.

How are you LISTENING to God today? Are you hearing or listening? Are you paying attention to God?
Are you doing more, or listening more? Are you throwing the wood, without listening first? Are you experiencing healing in supernatural ways today?

Then God led them to Elim, and there were 12 springs and 70 palm trees.
After that lesson of faith, God not only promises healing, but blesses them physically. Now they have abundantly more water and shade from the heat.
God blesses people who listens before they do, who pay attention before they keep.
All is required, but Listening and Paying Attention comes first.

How are you experiencing healing and material blessing from God today?

Personal Note:
I'm really encouraged by this passage. After listening to this chapter, I'm comforted that God wants to set me free from my bitterness, my painful past and prepare a sweet, joyful and blessed future for me.

Christian Exploitation

Here's something to think about...
Not to condemn, but for us to really look at Jesus and understand His love for us and change for the better...

I've heard of numerous stories of Christians who exploit other Christians and recently I had a similar experience.

As you know, I'm a freelance writer.
Yesterday a lady called me up for a writeup job for a Christian Organisation.
Apparently this Christian Organisation sends out 500+ CD materials on a monthly basis to Christian women so that they may find their comfort from their marital, relationship and grief.

This organisation (whose name was not given to me) also claims to conduct seminars all over Thailand, HK, Australia and other parts of the world. They also apparently hold a worship/study group every tuesdays at their ministry centre.

The article was supposed to be a donation drive to ask from members/public for donation for their organisation.

She wanted to press my fees (which I made it plain to her was already below industry rates by 40%). Looking at the raw article she sent me, I said, I'll further press my fees by 50%, provided if a fellow sister in christ that I know could be roped into the mailing list and be encouraged. (this dear sister in christ has been going through many broken relationships, and I thought it would be good for her to receive such encouraging materials)

Instead, of accepting that (in total) 70% discount off my fees (which i intended to give away anyway) and the opportunity to minister to another dear sister in christ, this lady from the organisation rejected the offer because she doesn't want to pay me in cash - then hung up.
[I asked for cash on delivery of work because of bad experiences in the freelance business]

***
As I think about the matter, I recalled a similar incident a fellow lawyer brother encountered.
After the completion of a legal case and won, he was not paid by his fellow brother in christ and had to absorb the cost on his own (even for the legal cost on behalf of this brother)

***
Another sister shared to me that she was humiliated in public and coerced to purchase charity dinner tickets by a fellow brother who was selling these on behalf of the church. Simply, she was guilt-tripped into handing over her money.

She said (paraphrased) - He made me feel that if I did not support the cause, I was a bad Christian. And he was loud, and everyone was looking.

***
It got me thinking about how we should be aware of such things.
Do we have an attitude that "because I'm also a Christian", I am entitled to demand certain things from other Christians?

That I should EXPECT discounts, special treatment, waivers, and 'Charity' from other Christians?
God Forbid we practise such things!

But if we do receive such grace, it comes from God's favour & grace, not men!
For Abraham said - that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, 'I made Abram rich.'
Genesis 14:23

If we begin to understand where our wealth comes from, we will become cheerful givers.

Pleading for support/grace and demanding for it are 2 different things.
Grace demanded is not grace!

Worst off, is for us to feel dejected about not receiving such 'demanded grace' that we defame one another!
Some even calls these 'unsupportive' brothers/sisters - 'astray', 'far from God', 'greedy', 'worldly', 'lovers of self', etc

In the end, God will judge all things rightly.
Who are we to make demands and label (judge) one another?

The Root Cause Of Your Problem Is Condemnation

Hillsong - From The Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Testimony of Randy Khoo

What I say here is my story. Others in my Church may have experienced their Christian lives differently. Mine is just not the same as theirs. I’ve felt that I’ve come as closed as an inch of Hell. Now God has opened my eyes to His grace and peace – and I’m set free from everything that has made me a depressed person in the past!

This story is just simply stating how from the place I grew up in, God has now led me to newer things that I find (like the new wine) cannot be contained in the old wine anymore.

May you find yourself highly favoured, richly blessed and deeply loved by Christ in reading this testimony of mine.

BTW, if you do see yourself in my shoes, I would be more than happy to sit down with you and share the truth I have discover.

***

My name is Randy and I attend XXXXXXX. I accepted Christ in 2000. When I became a Christian, I didn’t completely understand what he did for me on the Cross. I just know that I needed Him. That with Him is where I wanna be. That He died on the cross for my sins. Despite that nobody took the pain to spell out what the Full Gospel was about. Everyone just ASSUMED that I will know.

I’ve been brought up in XXXXX to be constantly serving. And I’ve been told from day one to do that. That to show my faith is real, I must have deeds. That faith without deeds is dead. To be fair, I’ve been in almost all position of leadership in my youth. I’ve been a committee, an assistant commander, a commander, a mentor and an assistant teacher.

Even then, I did not feel led by God. I’m told, if I’m called into a leadership position, I’m called by God and it’s such a big privilege to serve as ‘I don’t have the same opportunities’ in bigger Churches. Church leaders say that to fight the battle against the flesh, we gotta be constantly making ourselves busy.

Instead of feeling gratitude, I felt like a burden was put on my shoulders. Like the souls of youths cast as my responsibility without me knowing where to find the answers to begin with. And it didn’t help that I was too shy to ask and that I should work out my salvation (by serving) in fear and trembling. And it’s always been scary how God was NEVER as close to me as I hoped for. I donno what He sounds like, I donno what He wants me to do, I’ve never felt like anything I did was His will.

Everything I did within the 4 walls was what people told me I should do.

Yes, I know Him from scriptures. I know what the Bible says of Him, but I’ve never felt that He spoke at all in life. Deep inside I was dissatisfied. I wanted the real thing. I wanted to know what He needs me to do, but all I received from my fellow seniors were nothing more than a ‘to do list’ (or at least it did feel like that to me).

I was told that I had to read my Bible every day. To pray every day. To serve in ministries. Deep inside I did not feel blest. I felt like the only purpose of going to church was my duties –and that too stopped me from walking out. That did not help as a leader of the Church breathed viperously against people who leave.

I can say I knew a bit of theology. I knew TULIP. I knew Calvinism and Arminianism. I’m even the best student in class for many years! But I did not know nor experience the depth, width and height of Jesus’ love. At that point of time, I could only blame myself as I thought I did not persevere enough.

I’ve tried living such high ‘holy’ standards as ‘exhibited’ by my fellow Christians, only to meet with failure in my own life.

It was like I was abound by contract to be a Shepherd, but I had nothing to offer the sheep as I was myself starved.

I was tired and have become sick of serving, serving and serving. If I was with Joshua on the mountain when he challenged the people, I would have said serving God was the undesirable thing for me. Deep inside I felt unworthy to serve, and there were better people to do what is required. “So why bother?” became my attitude. I just felt that nothing I do could be good enough to please anyone, especially not God.

Hence, I gave up and did not even bother trying.

In 2007, I was as far away as I can be and became involved in many forbidden things. I got in multilevel marketing and they jumped on the hype of ‘The Secret’ at that time. After a painful breakup in 2008, I got further involved in NLP and Hypnosis.

I wrecked my career, and I came to the point of becoming a Satanist because I was fedup with God, and the trials that I face in my life. I had had enough of it. I’ve even research online how to make a pact with the Devil and even drafted out what I would ask from the evil one.

But thank be to God that He is faithful and His Spirit has kept me from doing anything foolish!
I remember the night that I meant to make the pact, I stopped and decided to give God one last try.

I tried living right again by serving, with little success. And I went back into the same old routine that made me a bitter and unhappy man. By this point I was disinterested in everything ‘Church’ and I felt that I’ve been living with masks on.

Recently, a dear brother shared with me what he has discovered about the Grace of God and passed me sermons from Pastor Joseph Prince. At first I was doubtful. But I listened anyway about the Grace of God and today my life has never been the same.

Everyday, I’m filled with God’s love. Even when I sin! Never has my heart experience such joy ever as a Christian! When I open the Bible, the message that I receive is clear and sharp – unlike before! And almost everyday, I receive new and fresh revelation from the Bible or Creation that I’ve never seen before! Some of the wrong teachings that have been passed down to me, has also been made clear!

The passages that I’ve avoided in the past and struggled with, now I understand. It’s as though the Bible has come alive! I’ve also been freed from the guilty conscience that has weight me down! Praise the Lord!

Today when I open the Bible, I see Jesus in every page! Amen!

Having discovered for myself what this Grace we have in Jesus Christ has given me new life and has renewed my mind. Unto Him be Glory forever and ever! I’m a changed man! Amen.”

Praise The Lord!!!!

Hallelujah!

I know I haven't blogged for long. But I just can't keep quiet about this.
I believe that when God fills a person so much that when it overflows, others will receive it.
May you received this and be richly blessed and deeply loved by our Lord Jesus Christ.
Maybe God will speak to you on this Good Friday.

***

It's 12.00am and I just walked out of the Mamak stall near my house.
I looked up, there were no stars, but the moon was shining full in it's glory.

Immediately, the Holy Spirit said -
The moon is a reflection of the Church and Jesus is the sun.
I was stunned.. It came to my understanding ->
That Jesus shines His light on the world, and the Church reflect that light in the moments of darkness(night)! Jesus said we are the light of the world! Not because of our own light, but His light! Not through our own Righteousness, but through the Righteousness of Christ!!!
Amen!

That at the furthest point (lunar eclipse)[that when the Church is furthest from the light], the world will not see God's light. But when the Solar eclipse happen (when the Church stands in the light of the sun's glory - which also makes it nearest to the sun), the earth can look at the sun directly! (not for a long time, but God's meaning does come through!!!)
This means the Church is there to reveal God for all to see!

Then when the end times come, the moon will turn blood red. Why?
Coz when the rapture comes, God wants to remind the earth that it is the Blood of Christ that covers the Church (moon) - and they (the Jews and the rest of the world) should turn to Him for salvation!

Then God pestered me about the Feast of New Moon.
I quickly rushed home and checked on the internet to find out more about this.
Then I found out more!

1. Psalm 8:13 - blow the trumpet at the New Moon (it's a glorious celebration)
It's a celebration that God takes joy in - He takes joy in His Church/Bride and he urges everyone to rejoice!

2. Leviticus 23:24 - It's a day of rest and sacred!
That Jesus is the Lord of the Sabbath! In Him we find rest and peace in God the Father!
In the Hebrew text, it is Kodesh which means consecrated and made holy!
That's the Church folks!

3. Numbers 10:10 - that it is during this time the burnt offering and fellowship offering (also know as peace offering) is made.
That Jesus is our burnt offering and our peace offering with God!

4. Numbers 28:11-15 - grain offering, and drink offering (of wine), a pleasing aroma, a lamb offered. (also known as Feast of Trumpets - Numbers 29:1-6)
This is a picture of Jesus! The Bread and the Wine, God's Son whom He is well pleased, the Lamb of God!!!
If you search the Bible about the offering that is a 'pleasing aroma' to God, you'll find each and every one points to Jesus Christ!!!

5. Genesis 1:14-19 - God separated the sun and the moon from the world, to GOVERN the world!!!
God separated His Son and the Church to rule the earth as Kings!!! And God said it was GOOD!
Why 4th day? It points to the 4 gentile women in the line of Jesus Christ! - Ruth, Tamar, Bethsheba and Rahab!!!
All points to Christ as the groom and the Church as His Bride!

Unto Jesus be the Glory, forever and ever!
AMEN!

It's 1.18am now.. What a beautiful revelation on this Good Friday!
Praise God. Have a blessed Good Friday!!!

** Disclaimer:
This is not so you worship the sun or moon ok... God forbid you take this the wrong way!!!
But this is ALSO the reason why Satan fuels one of the most powerful religion today with the moon.

True Freedom

It is not what you do that matters. It is what Christ has done.

It is not the guilt you feel that matters, but the guilt that He has taken upon himself.

It is not your 'good works' that matters, but what He empowers you to do in His Spirit.

It is not your rank nor position that matters, but His laying down to servanthood that matters.

It is not your strength, wisdom nor talents he uses. But your weakness, foolishness and dependence on Him that He does...

For it is not by law nor human ability that you are saved.
But SOLELY by the grace of God in Christ through faith.
Hallelujah!